Super Down-to-Earth and Not at All Delusional Lady Decides to Change Her Name to "Sexy"

(Source) - The name her parents gave her is so heinous, so cruel, that she rarely speaks it. It comes out of her mouth as a two-syllable shudder.

Sheila.

“I absolutely hate it,” Ranea Crabtree said. “I think it’s really ugly.”

Crabtree has gone by her middle name since she was a teenager, and now, as the mother of two teenage girls herself, she’s ready to dump Sheila. On Feb. 11, the Pataskala woman will stand in front of a Licking County judge and ask him to change her name to another S-word, one she likes much better.

Sexy. Yes. Sexy.

“I wear Victoria’s Secret clothes all the time,” said Crabtree, who doesn’t want you to know how old she is. “I was like, ‘Shoot, I’ll just go for Sexy.’”

Oh you don't like your first name and you wear Victoria's Secret clothes all the time?  Well then by all means please do change your name to 'Sexy', I'm surprised your parents didn't just name you that in the first place. Aside from the fact that Sheila here is clearly delusional and waaay too confident in herself, you know what really pisses me off about this?  Sheila is a normal fucking name!  It's not like your parents named you something weird like Apple, or gave you a clear stripper's name like Misty, Chastity, or Destiny.  Your name is fucking Sheila!  Millions of women walk around with the name Sheila and live their lives perfectly content with it.  Hell, I bet some of them even love the name.  But nope, you wear VS clothes so 'Sexy' it is.  

And what about all of the men of the world?  Are we just supposed to ignore the fact that the name is completely misleading and act like you're not totally bullshitting your face off with it?  Yeah right.  Oh and guys, Shiela doesn't want us to know how old she is.  Well guess what Shiela, I don't need the exact number because I can tell your age just from glancing at this hoity-toity little attempt at a glamour shot that you took: you're middle-aged, another not very "sexy" quality.  And I'm not afraid to say it - if you were a hard-bodied 20-something with big voluptuous titties and an ass I could bounce a quarter off of then I would 100% have no problem with this.  Sure I would still probably think you're a conceited, over the top hoebag, but at least then the name would make a little sense.  I can stand by a lot of fucked up things but false advertising?  No way bitch, there's just no way.

PS - I have a Nike hoodie that I wear all the time so everyone should probably call me "Swoosh" from now on.  Just ignore that I'm a skinny white dude who's average (at best) at basketball.  Swoosh it is.  Why you ask?  Because this is fucking America that's why.