(Source) - LeBron James hopes to have a meeting with incoming NBA commissioner Adam Silver to discuss some issues he has with the league, the Heat star said after practice Tuesday.
James said he didn't want to make public the list of topics he wants to discuss, but the league's reigning MVP said he had been thinking about them for some time.
Now since Bron Bron wouldn't reveal exactly what it is he wants to talk with the new commish about, I guess I'm just going to put on my fortune teller cap and predict the future. The key to the whole thing is jumping inside LeBron's mind. Off the court, we all know exactly what's on his mind: Bosh's daughter and the dope handies she gives out like candies (rhymed, nbd). But on the court I have to assume he's actually thinking about basketball, or at least basketball the way he and the Heat imagine it should be played. So without further ado, my predictions for LeBron's proposed rule changes:
1.) Travelling is not only allowed, it's encouraged.
Now as incredible an athlete as LeBron is, I think we can all agree that no matter who you are sometimes dribbling is just a pain in the ass. Really, who needs that shit? This isn't high school, this isn't college, this is the NBA. Leave the dribbling to the kids.
I actually think LBJ might have been right to complain in that second video, looked pretty clean to me.
2.) Flopping is also completely legal.
Seriously guys, just allow it already. If the refs can't tell the difference at game speed then they should immediately be fired and have to give an exit speech publicly commending whichever Miami Heat player pulled one over on them. It's the only fair way to handle it.
3.) No touching.
Listen, I'll just say it, LeBron James is as delicate as a flower. Do you really think that being 6'9 and 270 lbs. makes you some kind of superhero or something? Give me a break. He's got a career and endorsements to worry about so from now on if anyone ever touches him on or off the court they should automatically be suspended for two games and fined at least $100,000. I honestly don't think that's asking too much.
For now those are the only three that I can say for sure he's going to ask about. My senses can only pick up so much at once. Other than that it's anyone's guess. My gut tell me that he will ask for two more; the first of which will get rid of salary cap entirely so he can create a Dream Team in Cleveland where he'll pay millions of dollars out of pocket to beat every one of Jordan and the Bulls' single season records fair and square. And then after that I'm assuming the last thing he is going to ask for is a free pass for D-Wade for any and all of his dirty aggressive plays; past, present, and future.
Like this love tap to Darren Collison? The NBA should probably issue a formal apology to DwYane* for even calling this a foul.
*I spelled his name with a capital Y because it's already extremely misspelled and I wanted to see if it could look any fucking dumber than it already does...it can.
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