(Source) - In the market for a high-tech chastity belt for your chest? Look no further than the,True Love Tester Bra, brought to you by Japanese lingerie company Ravijour.
The high-tech undergarment, which is being marketed as a way to "save women" from unwanted sexual advances, can supposedly sense when a woman's emotional state becomes truly amorous, and then -- and only then -- will the clasp of the bra automatically unlock. If love isn't in the cards, we guess you're just forced to wear it forever?
According to a video promo for the True Love Tester, the smart bra contains a hidden sensor, which is synced up via Bluetooth to an app on the owner's phone. The app analyzes heart rate, and when the wearer's heart rate hits a specified point, the bra unhooks on its own. (The "true love" zone is indicated in the chart below, though we remain seriously unconvinced as to its scientific accuracy.)
I am completely and utterly one billion percent dead serious when I say this...If every girl in America owned one of these, I think there's a decent shot that I would never see another pair of titties again. This isn't an invention, it's an abomination. Looks like its time to update the list.
Threats to the World I Know and Love:
- Al Qaeda
- Ravijour "True Love Tester"
- China
- Lesbians*/Feminists
- Sharks
*To be fair, lesbians are only a threat if they find out that it's somehow contagious.
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