Thursday, January 23, 2014

Eli Manning Offering Pointers to Peyton is Absolutely Preposterous




ESPN - Peyton Manning is heading to New Jersey next week with the Denver Broncos to play the Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium, and he'll get a helpful scouting report from his little brother.
New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning, who plays his home games at MetLife Stadium, said he'd be offering Peyton tips on the stadium's quirks, especially as they pertain to potential winter weather conditions such as strong winds.
"I might have a few things for him, but I don't want to reveal that, because I don't want to give it to [Seahawks quarterback] Russell Wilson," Eli Manning said on a conference call Thursday. "So any tips I may have wind-wise, I would tell him in private."


I don't care if Eli plays all of his home games at MetLife Stadium, I wouldn't even care if Eli had played every single fucking game of his NFL career at MetLife.  How this guy hasn't figured out that his brother is infinitely better than him at football yet I will never understand.  Does he honestly think his brother wants to hear his stupid voice mumbling through completely useless tips?  Sometimes it gets windy there, Peyton.  Oh and it gets cold too, but only in the wintertime.


Well guess what Eli?  Unlike you, Peyton has a game to prepare for.  And considering the Seahawks aren't playing in their diabolically acoustic Terrordome, I'd say they have about a 1% chance of winning this one. As in, there's a 1% chance that Peyton gets hurt and then, and only then, could Seattle possibly win this game.  That's my prediction. Zero it in and lock that shit up.  Broncos ALL DAY, not a doubt in my brain cavity.  For the first time all season they have an entirely healthy defense and if Peyton's quick work of the "legendary" Patriots wasn't a solid enough indicator of how this season ends then I'll just lay it out for you:  It ends with that fugly beast holding up his second Lombardi Trophy, while Brady sulks in his Uggs at home and Uncle Eli watches the celebration unfold from the sidelines as he holds up the next great Manning* while big bro is center stage doing his thing.







*Peyton's steely-eyed, future aerial assassin of a son, Marshall. 


If that forehead doesn't scream "Future Hall of Famer" then I don't know what does.




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