Alright folks, please allow me to explain my hiatus. So I decided to take a month and a half off because once the real winter weather hits I go into hibernation mode and can't overexert myself or else I'll die. Precautionary measures, you know how it is. Now that isn't necessarily true at all, but I do tend to get lazy as fuck when the holidays come around and considering I'm getting zero money/feedback for this blog I think it's safe to say I wasn't missed too much.
A couple things happened while I was away: Biebs retired then got caught with a bunch of drugs after he egged his neighbors house (classic devil-may-care bad boy behavior. What a rebel, I know), I got shitty Christmas gifts, I gave shitty Christmas gifts, I ignored my Jewish friends for a couple days, just the usual stuff. On New Years I got shitcanned because I have no self-control whatsoever. Then I puked about fifteen minutes before midnight (sneakily as fuck, obviously). Then, right after I got a little half assed midnight tongue action, she found out I had recently relieved myself through my mouth hole and proceeded to slap me across the face and smack my beer out of my hand and onto the floor where it of course shattered. The good news is that I was so sloppy that at least I thought all of my friends were laughing with me and not at me, and that's really what the holidays are all about.
PS - When I was picking up the glass I was so wobbly that I kept having to catch my balance, thus resulting in me putting my hands in the glass with all of my weight along with it. They basically looked like this for 3 days after...
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