Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Miley and the VMAs need to get the fuck outta my face

Alright so I know this is a day or so late and everyone's already talked it to death, but Sunday night was the VMAs as I'm sure most of you know.  Justin Timberlake had an hour and a half long performance that was essentially a mash-up of every single he's had as a solo artist - it was decent.  Every girl will say it was awesome because it was JT and he turns their beef curtains into Niagra Falls, but in all honesty it was nothing more than decent.  His dance moves were fire, his singing was strained.  Whatever, anything was better than Miley.  Holy fuck, Miley Cyrus what the hell is going on with you.  Essentially just doing the world's best Amanda Bynes impression onstage, publicly slutting it up, petting dicks with giant foam fingers and twerking right into the dick Alan Thicke's son.  Personally I don't acknowledge Robin Thicke, he bugs the shit out of me and is pretty much middle aged at this point so great job at working so hard getting to the top, too bad there's an age limit and your time's almost up. Face.  Either way, he's still a pervert and Miley's boney little tush probably gave him a few growing pains of his own if you catch my drift.  My question is this: is Hollywood just becoming a competition to figure out who's a bigger weirdo? Who can act less like a sane, respectable person? It's gotta be right?  Trash bags aren't "in", platinum colored hair isn't actually cool, and skinny jeans are 1 billion percent going to be that one thing everyone looks back on in 20 years and goes "the fuck were we thinking?"  Crazy, though, crazy is in.  And nothing makes crazy come more naturally than crystal meth.  But for everybody's sake I hope Miley does the honorable thing and makes the leap from coke, molly, meth and whatever else to the next logical step: bath salts.  Sure the VMAs were weird this year, but what if mid-performance next year Miley goes zombie apocalypse, leaps into the crowd and eats off Bieber's face. DREAM. COME. TRUE.

PS - Billy Ray's gotta be pissed, serves him right for extorting his child for millions. He built this crazy train, now he's gotta ride that shit to the bloody end. Good luck bro.

PPS - Selena needs to stop hanging out with T-Swift, her big thing right now is she's got that slut vibe going harder than ever and it's boner food for the masses.  Prude ass Taylor the Tight Wad is just bad news for that kinda image. Ditch that Bitch

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