So here I am sitting around doing nothing, feeling like absolute garbage wondering why. Gotta be sick right? Zero chance it has to do with the fact that my lunch today was a box of Keebler cookies and two bags of butter popcorn (movie theater butter in the winter, it's still beach season). Definitely not the hour or two of random walking around I do that I've begun to consider exercise. So I'm thinking maybe if I hadn't been lazy as shit throughout high school and college I could have been a doctor and bam, self diagnosis, quick fix. A little self-hate to keep yourself humble isn't the worst thing in the world. Then I hopped on the internet typed in my symptoms and presto, I'm cured. Basically now I'm a doctor. Also I know every word in the fucking world, and what every celebrity is doing at all times. Smartest, most connected person in world right here, nice to meet me. Oh, and the diagnosis was poor diet and lack of exercise by the way. Still not 100% convinced, gotta go run some more tests*
*add/subtract one symptom and see the new results
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