This Thing Claims to Help Make You Last 11 Times Longer in Bed by 'Desensitizing Your Penis' Over the Course of 6 Weeks

(Source) - When research revealed that two thirds of men across the country feel under pressure to make sex last longer, one Harley Street doctor set about finding a solution.

After years of research and development, the first medically-approved climax control programme in the world has been unveiled and aims to help the seven million men in the UK suffering from premature ejaculation.

A licensed, over-the-counter medical device, the Prolong Climax Control Programme includes a £200 vibrator that aims to desensitise the penis as part of a six-week training programme.

Users are instructed to stimulate the penis with the device to reach the point of near climax, at which point they stop. This step is repeated three times, and the whole process carried out three times a week for six weeks. Men can train alone or practice the programme as part of foreplay - it also comes with lubricant to help avoid soreness.

I'm not really sure if this would work for me. Over the years I've convinced myself that I already last long enough because I'm such a ferocious masturbater. Like no matter how fantastic a vagina feels or aggressively a girl bangs me I can handle it because of the strenuous exercise I myself put my penis through. Keep in mind I'm not exactly "raking in the pussy" and the girls I hook up with aren't exactly the "belle of the ball" so there's a slight chance that my logic is flawed. It also helps that I tend to be hammered every time I somehow miraculously convince a girl to go home with me. Seriously, I'm so drunk and eager to please that I spend all my time focusing on fighting off the whiskey dick and simultaneously doing my best to make sure the girl is actually enjoying herself that I don't even have time to worry about whether or not I'm lasting long enough. It's just one big panic tornado of enthusiasm and clumsiness. When half your time is spent solely on making sure your dick stays hard, you just kind of accept the fact that you'll cum when you cum. There's so many balls up in the air at that point that you just have to let the chips fall as they may.

And 11 times longer, holy shit dude! I'm a smoker, I don't really exercise. 11 minutes leaves me sweating and wheezing under the covers while I pretend like I'm not literally choking on oxygen as is. Are there really people out there who want to legitimately be able to make their dick capable of this kind of feat? Who even has the fucking time for this. Yeah sure, I'm going to cocktease myself into the most severe case of blue balls my nuts have ever seen and then repeat that three times a week for the next six weeks, thus "desensitizing" my dick. My penis is the only sensitive friend I have. I like having him be so up and down, I like the fact that his size fluctuates based on my arousal in any given situation, that shit gives him personality. Desensitized sounds like you want to turn my cheery, goofy, playful penis into some hard, calloused, aloof penis that I can only assumes resembles that of a Russian. No thanks, nice try pal but take a fucking hike. My dick might not be the cream of the crop but he's mine, and he's got spunk. If you try to change everyone in your life then you know who you're left with? No one.












PS - This is a non-issue anyways. I'm way too poor to afford something worth 200 squiggly E's. I'm way too poor to even know what kind of currency that's supposed to represent.


PPS - Gotta be getting laid too. Otherwise you just turn jerking off into a much bigger task than what it already is. Nobody needs that.