(Source) - Junior doctor James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of the South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a sevengill shark.
The 24-year-old was in about two metres of murky water when he felt a tug on his leg, which he initially thought was a friend playing a trick on him.
"I looked behind to see who it was and got a bit of a shock," he told Radio New Zealand.
He didn't see the shark and had no idea how big it was. He said he thought it might have been about 20 centimetres across the jaw. However, he wasn't scared.
"[I thought] bugger, now I have to try and get this thing off my leg."
He already had his diving knife in his hand and stabbed at the shark.
"I am not sure how effective it was. I guess it let go so something must have happened, put a few nicks in it."
The shark swam off, and so did Grant, returning to shore where he quickly took off his wetsuit. He saw a row of teeth marks had punctured his leg, wounds that would've been worse if he hadn't been wearing the 7 mm thick wetsuit. He tried to wave his friends to shore but they thought he was kidding.
"I thought surely he hasn't been bitten, there's no way he has been bitten, he's got to be taking the piss," one friend told Radio New Zealand.
So Grant, left wounded and alone by his worthless friends, had to be resourceful. Using the thread and needle from his first aid kit, which he keeps for his hunting dogs, he sewed up his wound and walked to a nearby tavern where he was given a beer and a bandage.
I like to joke around about people being beasts and savages and whatnot, but in all seriousness I might respect James Grant infinitely more than I've ever respected any other human that has ever walked this planet. In no universe can I imagine myself, or anyone else, getting bitten by a shark in the ocean, swimming back to shore, and then cleaning and stitching the wound closed with no help whatsoever. And then to tell me that he walked to a bar to grab a beer while he waited for his friends to finish fishing!? If even a tiny two foot long baby shark bit me I would run like a little bitch to the shore screaming bloody murder then immediately collapse in dramatic fashion and wait for someone to "save my life." Meanwhile, Jimmy boy wasn't even phased by the attack, and even let his boys blatantly ignore the shit out of him. Who needs enemies with friends like that? Seriously, if I just got bit and my friends were chilling in the waves calling me dramatic and joking about me being a liar then guess what, it's time for me to get some new fucking friends. Maybe not a bunch of inconsiderate dicks, ya know, maybe people who actually have some slight semblance of concern for their buddy's safety. Nope, not James Grant. This animal couldn't care less. Water under the bridge, fellas. Just keep on fishing, I'll just hang out here with my bloody leg and take the edge off with a couple Fosters. I'd be screaming on the beach, completely inconsolable. That's why James is a different breed. While I would be doing that in his situation, he's already getting his buzz on at the pub, shooting the shit with some island bartender that I can only imagine was the New Zealand equivalent of Tom Cruise in Cocktail - not a care in the world.
So James, I applaud you sir. I'm not exactly sure why, it could be your toughness, maybe it's your chillaxed New Zealand demeanor, or the fact that you're a highly functional psychopath your cool head under pressure. Hell, all of the above. I just know that you've earned it. You went head to head with one of the world's deadliest predators and not only did you come out on top, but also a little drunk as well. Now that's what I call a fucking win!
PS - Something tells me this isn't James Grant's first time getting attacked by a shark. The way he handled the whole situation has savvy veteran written all over it. He's for sure been attacked by at least 5 sharks before. At this point that shit isn't just old hat for him, it's straight up child's play.
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