Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Dick Size: State by State

Aaaaaaaand the winner is....



North Dakota!  Land of the Giant Cocks!  I can honestly say this one shocked me.  North Dakota is never first place in anything except when it's the first thing that comes to mind when discussing shitty states.. Seriously, the Dakotas are both top three shittiest states and that's being generous.  They're most likely top two but Idaho, Arkansas, and one of those mini northeastern states are getting thrown in as a courtesy.  They have absolutely nothing going on for them, well, until now that is.  Bunch of Mr. Big Dicks walking around, no wonder they're happy to live in that barren wasteland. Everybody's just gallivanting around, hung like a moose without a care in the world.  Sneaky cocky as fuck North Dakota, I think I'm starting to understand your game as a state.  Not really because you have nothing else to offer me but hey, you earned this one. Mississippi on the other hand...not so hot.  Hawaii gets a pass because its basically half Asian and that's just bad luck in the dick size game.

  1. North Dakota
  2. Rhode Island
  3. South Dakota
  4. District of Columbia
  5. Massachusetts
  6. Ohio
  7. Arizona
  8. Alabama
  9. New York
  10. South Carolina
  11. Colorado
  12. Maryland
  13. Wisconsin
  14. New Jersey
  15. California
  16. Florida
  17. Connecticut
  18. Virginia
  19. Oregon
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Washington
  22. Tennessee
  23. New Mexico
  24. Iowa
  25. Illinois
  26. Louisiana
  27. Vermont
  28. Utah
  29. Maine
  30. Nebraska
  31. Idaho
  32. Kansas
  33. Delaware
  34. Michigan
  35. Nevada
  36. New Hampshire
  37. Oklahoma
  38. Montana
  39. Minnesota
  40. Kentucky
  41. Texas
  42. Indiana
  43. West Virginia
  44. Missouri
  45. Alaska
  46. North Carolina
  47. Wyoming
  48. Arkansas
  49. Hawaii
  50. Mississippi


Illinois being smack dab in the middle of the list at  number 25 matches up perfectly with my "Oh no it's not small, it's average" story. 



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