If Rob Ford is Sticking Up For Bieber Then I Think I Just Joined Team Bieber

(Source) - Toronto Mayor Rob Ford stuck up for Justin Bieber in a radio interview on Thursday, the day after the Canadian singer was charged with assault in his city.

Ford called into the Washington, D.C.-based radio show The Sports Junkies, whose hosts labeled Bieber “Canada’s worst export,” and asked them to put it all in perspective by remembering when they were Bieber’s age. 

“He’s a young guy, 19 years old. I wish I was as successful as he was,” Ford said, who added he’s never met the singer and is not a fan of his music.

I know I talk a lot of shit about the Biebs, but that's only because I honestly thought that I hated his guts this whole time.  But now that Rob Ford is sticking up for him I'm not so sure anymore.  Say what you want about Mayor Ford.  Does he occasionally black the fuck out and smoke a little crack?  Sure.  Is it kind of strange that he hypes himself up for all of his press conference by sporting a new NFL jersey every time? Maybe to some.  Did he put a jail hit out on his sister's convict ex-boyfriend to keep him from opening his mouth about Ford's hard drug use?  Almost definitely.  But if there is one thing that know for sure about this man it's that he's an excellent judge of character.  The kind of class act that only smokes crack when he's shitfaced aka basically never happened, only deals with the most upstanding and respectful drug dealers, only picks trustworthy guys he used to coach in football to execute his off the books dirty work.  He's just aligning himself with the best of the best in every aspect of his life.  And if he's Team Bieber then who the hell am I to doubt him?  I'm just an unemployed blogger, real scum.  Up until this point Mayor Ford has proven himself to be nothing more than an exemplary role model.  The kind of guy that works hard and parties harder. He kicks ass and takes names.  That's called living the dream guys.  And if he's saying that he of all people is jealous of the Biebs and that we all need to relax and give the guy a break then I guess I have to agree with him.  Maybe we all have been being a little rough on Justin.  I feel a little silly saying it because it's so new to me but fuck it.  FREE BIEBER!

If You Haven't Seen Shakira's New Video It Pretty Much Proves That I'm Psychic

Seriously, Beyonce who?  Screw it, she can have the hearts of America's women all she wants.  Nothing in this world pitches a faster tent in my pants than a brand spankin' new Shakira music video.  If you're a red-blooded American male then you need to see this.  On behalf of Shakira, I'd like to say you're welcome world, you're welcome.

PS - This video also just further proves that Rihanna can't get after it with the best of them.  Call me when you're ready for the big leagues sweetheart.  

Some Dude in Australia is Dressing Up Like a Clown and Creeping the Shit Out of Everyone

(Source) - Melbourne police are seeking information about a man wearing a clown mask who was seen waving a gun at pedestrians early on Tuesday morning.

Four people have so far come forward to say they were threatened by the man, who was seen leaning out of a car passenger window as the vehicle slowed to a crawl when passing victims across the St Albans and Sydenham area.

The clown stepped out of the car on one occasion but no-one was hurt during the bizarre 30-minute spree, though Sgt Mark Guthrie of the Brimbank Crime Investigation Unit said victims were in shock.

"All the witnesses have described a weapon being pointed at them, a firearm, whether it is fake or not we do not know," Sgt Guthrie said.

"All the incidents happened within half an hour and within 10 to 15km of each other. It was half-hour of madness but why they did it, I can't put my finger on it.

"It was very scary for those involved, they all want them caught or for it to stop," he added.

Sgt Guthrie said the man had been described as wearing a full white face mask with red hair, red lips and red nose, riding in a white car that may have had other passengers.

I don't get the big fuss over this.  It's clearly some drunk Aussie bro driving around purposely trying to get a rise out of people while his mates sit in the backseat and have a good laugh/crush empty Fosters cans on their foreheads.  I'd bet all the money in my bank account ($134.82) that the gun is either fake or empty. You heard me, ALL OF IT.  Sure, maybe it's still a little fucked up that he's going around and shoving a pistol in everyone's face but at the same time I'm kind of pissed I'm not there with him.  30 short minutes of screwing around with your buddies and you legit probably made at least two or three people poop their pants in the middle of the street.  That would be the funniest 30 minutes of my entire year.  No one died, no one got hurt, nothing even happened.  It honestly sounds well worth whatever stupid fine you'll get even if you do get caught.

Oh and keep in mind that this isn't happening in uptight America where a person would literally sue this dude straight into the poorhouse for something ridiculous like causing "emotional distress."  This is Australia. Aussies LOVE to fuck around.  If the cops ever do find out who these guys are, I guarantee they join in on the fun for at least one more twenty minute go-around with the clown masks.  Actually now that I'm thinking about it, it probably was the cops.  It's the perfect crime.

Maybe I Jumped to Conclusions About Amanda Knox...

I change my mind.....GUILTY! GUILTY!  DEFINITELY GUILTY!

Amanda Knox Re-Accused of Murder...I Still Would

(Source) - An Italian appeals court convicted former exchange student Amanda Knox and her ex-boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito on murder charges Thursday night.

Prosecutors said the couple had killed Meredith Kercher in November 2007. They were convicted two years later of murder, but those charges were overturned on appeal in 2011.

A judge said Thursday that Knox, also convicted of slander, was sentenced in absentia to 28 1/2 years in prison. Sollecito's sentence was 25 years.

Knox, who was at home in Seattle, Washington, said her conviction would bring no consolation to the Kercher family.

"I am frightened and saddened by this unjust verdict," she said in written remarks. "Having been found innocent before, I expected better from the Italian justice system. The evidence and accusatory theory do not justify a verdict of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. ...There has always been a marked lack of evidence."

She called the legal proceedings a travesty.



I'm not going to lie to you.  I know absolutely nothing about the law and even less about the Italian law.  And on top of that, I also really don't know anything about this case.  But if there is one thing  that I know for sure its that Amanda Knox is way too pretty for jail.  Did she do it?  I  honestly don't know, but she certainly doesn't seem to think so.  Personally I think the Italians should just lay off.  Seriously, has anyone ever met an Italian that would let something go?  Constantly up in your grill barking shit out.  Everything's an argument with these people.  Um guys, you already had a retrial and found her innocent once.  Why does this keep coming up, do you not have any other criminals to convict or something?  Or is that because a couple bureaucratic goombahs over there decided they changed their mind back this delicate little flower has to go up on the stand again and be forced to re-ride that emotional rollercoaster?  Just give it a rest and leave the poor girl alone already.  From what it sounds like there really isn't even a ton of evidence to support that she did anything.  It was basically just like, "Hmm who's-a pretty good-a suspect?  The roommate?  I don't-a know-a...you think-a she's strong enough to pull-a this off-a? Oh, she have-a the boyfriend!?  That's-a perfecto, let's-a convict them!"  

Typical lazy foreigners not being able to do anything right, always half-assing their way through life.  Hey Italy, maybe this is why your country is in absolute shambles.  They can't get anything done.  How are they supposed to solve grave economic crisis when they're spending 6 years and millions of dollars in resources on convicting, releasing, and re-convicting some American chick in a murder case?  It's just fiscally irresponsible.  The police were probably going to collect evidence but then it was siesta time (or whatever the hell custom they have in Italy) so they went and grabbed a cannoli and a ridiculously undersized and overpriced cup of coffee instead.  Figured fuck the evidence, who needs it this is Italy - guilty until proven innocent*.

Oh and FYI Italian government, we're basically going to tell you to go fuck yourself if you want us to extradite Knox back there.  Because even though we're "cooperative" and "all equals" in this world, we both know that our dick swings longer than yours.  What are you going to do, send a strongly worded letter to Obama?  Remember, your country may be shaped like a boot, but we won't hesitate to shove ours deep up into your asshole if you ever fall out of line.  So fuck you and God Bless America.














PS - I would 100% answer a Craigslist posting by Amanda Knox if she were looking for a roommate knowing full well what she's accused of doing to the last one.  Yeah, maybe it puts me in the same apartment as a murderer but it also puts me one step closer to getting into those panties of hers.  High risk, high reward.







*Seriously, the law in Italy is guilty until proven innocent, I looked it up.  So even if you can't prove that she murdered her roommate, really the only thing you need to prove is that it's theoretically possible that she did and that alone is enough to convict her.  It's a completely backwards version of "beyond a reasonable doubt".  Ridiculous, I know.

Peyton Just Facialed Richard Sherman

(Source) - Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman said Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning throws "ducks." And Thursday, had Sherman been in the room, he would have seen a rather prominent Broncos player agree with him.

That would be Manning.

"They say he's a smart player, and I don't think that's a real reach what he's saying there," Manning said Thursday morning. "I do throw ducks. I've thrown a lot of yards and touchdown ducks, so I'm actually quite proud of it."

Earlier this season, Sherman praised Manning's intelligence but added that he throws "ducks" at times. Sherman was then asked about the comment in the Seahawks' media session Wednesday and did not retreat.

"Well, I still feel the same way I felt," Sherman said Wednesday. "He is a great quarterback, he does a great job. At the same time, when he catches the ball, he doesn't necessarily catch the laces all the time. He throws an accurate ball in regards to how he catches it, he just gets it on time and delivers it accurately."

On Thursday, Sherman was told how Manning responded to his comments.

"Oh, I agree. That's exactly what I said. That's what I said. It sounds like a repeat of what I said," he said.

I know that Richard Sherman said that he throws it accurately and that Manning is still a great quarterback blah blah blah.  That's not the point.  You simply do not come at the King days before the big game, Dick. Complete lack of common sense. Do you honestly want to give this guy another reason to want to pound your team's pussy into the ground?  Sherman literally just took all of the pressure that was on Peyton's shoulder (can't win the big games, his legacy needs this, all of it) and he turned Manning's attention to doing one thing and one thing only - making a DB look like a complete moron and ruining his day.  Hey idiot, that's the man's bread and butter!  That's what Peyton thinks about before sex to get him hard.  That's what he dreams about after he's dominated his wife.  And that's what he wakes up chomping at the bit to do every single day of his life.  All that extra talk, those distractions?  Poof!  Gone.  Now the focus is on one thing and one thing only - making you regret ever opening your mouth.  You know what Peyton probably said to himself after he heard this?  "A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep."  Sound familiar?

If you don't feel like reading the whole article I'll paraphrase for you:

Sherman:  Hey Peyton, you throw ducks dude!

Peyton:  (chuckles condescendingly) Fucking A Right I do young fella'.  Ducks for yards, ducks for TDs, ducks that set records, ducks that win football games, you name it.  I'm a baaaaad motherducker bro.  Quack quack homie. ("suck it" motion; salutes; exits)

We Need to Talk About How Beyonce Gets Way Too Much Credit

So this is sort of out of the blue but what's with all of these chicks and being obsessed with Beyonce?  KFC from Barstool already blogged about this but I still don't fully get it.  Beyonce is an absolute TWELVE don't get me wrong - scalding hot, bootylicious dance moves, I'm told she's "fierce" as can be.  But I think people give her a little too much credit.  She puts on a good show and from the looks of it does everything else right, but in my eyes, in the "fierce" category, she's always going to be #2.  As dope as her dance moves are, they will always be second to my girl Shakira.  Always.

See, Beyonce comes out with new songs every other month so she's constantly in the spotlight soaking up the attention of the entire entertainment industry.  We never have a chance to forget about her so we marvel at her whole shtick every week of every month of every year, year in and year out.  Meanwhile Shakira comes out with new stuff every few years or so and leaves us drooling with our eyes popping out of our skulls for a solid 12 months.  Beyonce can booty shake with the best of 'em.  I cannot and will not ever try to argue against that.  But Shakira's hips and carnal gyrations are an entirely different level of sexuality. Nobody - and I mean nobody - thrusts like she does.  Literally mind-blowing stuff.  Like I can't physically watch a Shakira music video without immediately having to go masturbate after.  And now she's teaming up with Rihanna for a new fire flames banger that's guaranteed to be accompanied by a bonertastic music video where her body once again defies all logic?  Seriously, I just can't.





Welcome to GIF heaven.  In the immortal words of Big Cat, NBD but KBD.

Daryl Morey Says He's Kind of Proud That Royce White Might Be the Worst 1st Round Draft Pick Ever

(Source) - Royce White is the NBA draft's "worst first-round pick ever," according to the man who picked him.

Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey selected White with the 16th overall pick in the 2012 draft, but White has yet to appear in an NBA game.

"I take some sort of pride in that you could argue that Royce White is the worst first-round pick ever," Morey said in a Q&A discussion with Houston season ticket holders, according to the ClutchFans.net blog.

White, who is 6-foot-8, has struggled with an acknowledged anxiety disorder that would make it a challenge for him to play a full NBA season.

"He's the only one that never played a minute in the NBA that wasn't just a foreign guy staying in Europe," Morey said. "It just shows we swing for the fence."

Kind of have to hand it to Daryl Morey here.  The guy can flat out roll with the punches.

"Yeah I picked Royce White, the guy who's literally so petrified of stepping foot on an airplane that it's prevented him from playing a single NBA game...LOL that was silly of me. Jokes on you guys though because I'll always get credit for making the shittiest pick in league history so who's the loser now?"

*middle fingers to the sky*



Seriously though, it takes a special kind of dude to totally fuck up like that and then go out and snag a superstar like James Harden one year, Dwight Howard the next, and pick up two solid role guys/value pieces like Jeremy Lin and Omer Asik to boot.  Not to mention he made the Chandler Parsons pick, someone who is arguably the best value in all of sports at 38th overall in the second round.  When you clean up like that you've earned the right to brush off one of the fuck ups.  So dammit Daryl do you playa, go nuts, be proud as hell that you made worst pick ever.  In the long run,  it turns out the joke was on all of us puds who ever doubted your make-or-break riverboat gambling logic.  You're playing chess while the rest of us are stuck playing checkers.