Last night was former McDonald's All-American Chris 'Sky' Walker's debut game for the Florida Gators. As promised, he only saw limited minutes (7 to be exact) in the first half and rode the bench for the second part of the game. Granted it's only a tiny sample of what's to come from Walker and the Gators but here are the 3 things that we figured out:
1. Walker is capable of making an immediate impact if needed.
He came in and only played 7 minutes but he had 2 blocks, 2 rebounds and 4 points. Straight off the bat he proved that he can contribute. Walker is a man out there, and has freak athleticism to boot. He has great length and natural instincts as a shot blocker on the college level. In the NBA he might be a little more undersized given that he's built more like a forward than a center but impressive nonetheless. Florida has one of, if not the best defense in college basketball and Walker just made them a little bit better. Pretty crazy to think about. Good news for the Gators, bad news for the rest of the league. Come tournament time they might even become the favorite for the national championship.
2. My theory about Walker being a party animal/pussy magnet is 100% dead on.
Three sets of lip tattoos on your neck might seem like a cocky move but remember, it's not arrogant if it's true. Honestly this is probably what he spent the recruitment money he was investigated for on. Visited Gainesville, got a fat wad of cash from Billy Donovan, banged out a couple co-ed bitties and headed straight for the tattoo parlor the morning after to get those sluts' lipstick permanently inked on his neck. Basically just as a reminder for how he ended up at Florida. It's always important to remember the little folks and this way he'll have them with him forever. Genius. And it's kind of adorable watching a giant black man be so nostalgic. Like "Hey girl, remember that time I laid some serious pipe and redecorated your vaginal walls? Well I promised that I won't ever let myself forget."
*Shows neck tats, legs part like the Red Sea*
3. Billy Donovan has visible herpes mere weeks after Walker joins the team. Coincidence?
I'm not saying Billy Donovan sucked Chris Walker's dick to get him to come to Florida, but I'm also not going to say that he didn't. Listen, college basketball is getting more and more competitive every year and with all of these one and done recruits it's hard to build a team that can consistently compete. Coaches might be driven to do some crazy stuff to keep their jobs. Simple test to prove me wrong: match up Donovan's lips with the three sets on Walker's neck. If they match then we know Walker got a little something extra to come to Gainesville. If they don't then we know he still probably got money, plane tickets, and other perks but at least the coach isn't blowing recruits to give his school an edge. Handouts are one thing, sexual favors are a different issue entirely. How are Coach K and Boeheim supposed to compete with Florida when Donovan's willing to drop down and guzzle a budding superstar's load? Such an unfair advantage.
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