(Source) - According to Brazilian model Tati Neves, 27, not only is Justin Bieber "marvelous and unforgettable" in the sack, he's also "very well endowed." Now who are we supposed to believe in the Bieber Penis Wars? The Panamanian prostitute who said Bieber was packing a "so-so" member or Neves, the married woman who filmed Bieber sleeping and uploaded it to YouTube?
I'm not a Bieber guy. Never have been, never will be. But do I fear him? Yeah, I think I kind of do. I fear the day that some Bieber sex tape leaks where he bangs some smoke. What am I going to do, not watch? No fucking chance. That movie is a must-see for any and all red-blooded Americans with a semi-existent sex drive. But if this kid's dick is bigger than mine I'm going to lose it. Is it petty and pathetic as fuck to be worried about whether or not some little squid has a bigger piece than me, sure. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to be mature about the whole situation. I just can't process that, I need that win. Like right now I basically have five or six things in my life that I find significant enjoyment in: basically drinking, sports, my dog, what meager sexual scraps I'm thrown every once in a blue moon, and convincing myself that my dick is for sure bigger than the the Biebs'. The way I see it, sure maybe I'll never be a bazillionaire and slam smokes day in and day out, but I always imagined that if you put me at a urinal next to fuckboy and he happened to glance over at my pecker he would leave the room feeling a little less of a man. Is my dick big, no absolutely not, but it has to be bigger than this fancyboy's, it just has to.
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